Increased...

Increased...

I drove - or more accurately 'rode' since someone else did all the driving - in a car all the way to Cincinnati this morning. What a wonderful way to travel. I'm not talking about driving. I'm talking about Anything Other Than Flying.

Sometime during the drive my companion reminded me of one of my pet peeves - the one that is a noxious combination of airline travel with official bullshitspeak (or is it bushshitspeak?).

I'm talking about the announcement that all airports seem required to air ever 10 minutes or so. It goes something like this: "The Secretary of Homeland Security has increased the Homeland Security Advisory System Threat Condition to High, or Orange, indicating serious threat of terrorist actitivity... "

Now I have no doubt that we are under a 'serious threat.' With our bad behavior on the world scene, is there anyone who doesn't want to take a shot at us? And maybe if I felt the toy cops at the TSA stations had a prayer of stopping that 80 year old grandmother boarding in front of me from overpowering the stewardess and flying our plane into the Hancock Building in Chicago, I'd be more supportive of the whole idea. But I'm not confident or supportive.

But what really bugs me about this announcement is the word 'increased'.

The first time I heard that message I thought, 'Oh my God. I better turn on the news and find out what happened.' Everyone in the airport roused my suspicion. I watched my bag to make sure no one furtively planted a bomb in it. I made note of any suspicious activity. Then my flight went fine. A few days later I got on the plane again and flew home and - except for my increased anxiety - everything was just fine. Then the next time I flew - probably a couple weeks later - I heard the same message about increased threat levels and my first thought was 'oh my God...' and then I thought, 'Wait a second. Wasn't it orange the last time I flew?'

That was at least a year ago., and I'm still hearing the same message. I no longer think 'Oh my God...' Instead I think about how fed up I am with living with a constant barrage of fear mongering. A much more honest message would say simply "The Secretary for Homeland Security has set the threat advisory to orange..." A really honest message would be something like "The Secretary of Homeland Security set the threat level at orange. The best thing we can tell you is to be a little suspicious and watchful. Other than that there isn't much you can do if someone really wants to terrorize you. But rather than watching your bag, what you should really do is stop the war in Iraq and stop driving a vehicle that gets less than 50 miles per gallon."

In other news....

As I said, I'm in Cinci tonight. I'm making a sales presentation tomorrow, and I spent today getting ready for it. I'm pretty confident this one will be a home run.