Gratitude - Scrabble...

For years Mom has been an avid Scrabble player. It wasn't unusual to show up to visit her and find her playing solo; right hand versus left. She has the official Scrabble Dictionary, and a notebook of cheat sheets listing, for example, uncommon two letter words.

I've never enjoyed Scrabble because I didn't really think I could be very good at it. In the last couple weeks, I finally caught on to the game, mainly by watching her and seeing the strategies she uses to maximize her score. We've been playing nightly games, and I've been doing ok. Monday night she kept giving me tips (who'd have thought a single Q could get you 44 points? Put it on a double word score at the intersection of two i's to make QI, a spelling variant of CHI. It's in the Scrabble dictionary.) Last night she didn't help me much, and I still scored well.

One of the things that Scrabble reminds me is that it is going to work out. The other night I had that Q, and no U in sight. We were coming to the end of the game, and I was sweating over getting stuck with that Q. At one draw, she picked up all the Us. Then she pointed out the QI, and I was home free. I'm a born worrier, but it works out.

Gratitude - Status...

So I haven't been writing much here. Things have been a little hectic.

I'm not sure of the dates of some of these events because they all kind of run together.

Mom had surgery on November 6, and everything went well. She came home and stayed with us for a couple of nights and we thought she was good to go. We moved her home that weekend, and then all hell broke loose. I think she moved back home with us on Nov. 9th. We signed her into hospice the next week, and she has been living with us since.

Overall, she is in a lot better shape than when she first moved in. It took us a week or so to figure out meds, and she was pretty sick and weak from poor nutrition and being on her own. She is eating better now, and not having to worry about falling or taking meds, or many of the mundane things of life means she is actually getting around pretty well. We're managing the pain with Vicodin, so it isn't real bad yet. She still has her apartment, but she can't go back and stay there because of the painkillers.

So every morning we bring her a cup of coffee, then take her down stairs. She sets up shop in her barwel chair. We fix a breakfast of fried egg and a piece of toast. Lunch and dinner are less - usually whatever we're having. She reads a lot. Ponders life. Receives visitors. We limit most visitors to 15 - 20 minutes. Someone is with her most of the time, although she is fine being left alone for as much as a couple hours at a time.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard. Lots of good byes with the grand kids. I don't think any of us expected her to make it this long. Now we're at the start of the new year and most of the kids are gone and now we settle in for whatever comes next.

Gratitude - 100 words...

My pastors asked me to give a 100 word reflection on our situation, on the theme of "Abundance and Scarcity." Here is what I wrote and read on December 30:

Abundance – in 4 days my mother turns 93.
Scarcity – She is dying. Pancreatic cancer. Doctor said: “Think weeks and months, not months and years.”
Abundance – Last 5 years, Friday breakfast. Coffee. Homemade rolls. Rich conversations. Learning to know each other and ourselves for the first time.
Scarcity – No more rolls.
Abundance – She’s with us. Hospice helps. Pain under control. Alert. Articulate.
Scarcity – Days numbered. Who knows the count?
Abundance –Rich life. I am blessed. I have recipe; and lesson.
Scarcity – She is dying. We live in darkness, in the shadow of death. Literally. We take one day at a time.