Gratitude - Thanksgiving night (duh)...

Well of course on Thanksgiving we're supposed to feel thankful. But actually the implied obligation of "supposed to..." is far to negative. I feel so incredibly fortunate and grateful. One day isn't enough.

For the last several days I've been thinking about one thing I'm grateful for, and we got talking about it yesterday or this morning. One thing I'm really grateful for is the privilege of watching my mother come into her own in the last six years. When she moved to town five years ago, everyone she met said "Oh, I have such fond memories of C's orchids." She said "I realized I had lived in his shadow all my adult life, and I didn't know who I was. I had to figure that out."

Dad did cast a long shadow. He was creative and had a zillion interests. Mom was intensely interested in teaching and kids and learning, but once she retired, she didn't have a professional identity. Then she lost her husband, and then left the house that she and dad had built. It seemed that all moorings were cast off.

I think that is part of why those Friday morning breakfasts were so powerful: in many ways Mom and I were on parallel journeys. I sort of understood that at the time. I knew we were both dealing with loss and trying to figure out what was important to us. What I experienced from her was a lot of compassion and wisdom and perspective and acceptance - and blessing. But I also saw her grow in her confidence and - I think the word is equanimity; the calm centered knowing or her self.

Watching someone grow in that way in their late 80s is inspiring. So much for rigidity and decline in old age.  And if I have any capacity for equanimity and compassion and perspective and acceptance and blessing, she deserves a lot of the credit. And I got to work on it in my 50s, not my 80s.

I am a lucky man.